Hace unos días cayó en mis manos un manual Oracle7TM Server Concepts Manual y recordé que cada capítulo empezaba con alguna cita clásica, algunas de ellas absolutamente geniales. A continuación os las dejo resumidas.
Estas citas se mantuvieron en los manuales de las versiones 8/8i desapareciendo a partir de la 9i. Y, por si alguien lo llegara a dudar, la del capitulo “3 Tablespaces and Datafiles” es, sin duda alguna, un clásico… Aclarado esto, larga vida y prosperidad.
1 Introduction to the Oracle Server
I am Sir Oracle,
and when I ope my lips, let no dog bark.
William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
2 Data Blocks, Extents, and Segments
He was not merely a chip of the old block, but the old block itself.
Edmund Burke, On Pitt’s first speech
3 Tablespaces and Datafiles
Space – the final frontier…
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek
4 The Data Dictionary
LEXICOGRAPHER – A writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge.
Samuel Johnson, Dictionary
5 Database and Instance Startup and Shutdown
Greetings, Prophet; The Great Work begins: The Messenger has arrived.
Tony Kushner, Angels in America, Part I
6 Memory Structures
Yea, from the table of my memory I’ll wipe away all trivial fond records.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
7 Process Structure
If the good people, in their wisdom, shall see fit to keep me in the background, I have been too familiar with disappointments to be very much chagrined.
Abraham Lincoln, Address at New Salem (1832)
8 Schema Objects
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time – To let the punishment fit the crime.
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert, The Mikado
9 Partitioned Tables and Indexes
Like to a double cherry, seeming parted, but yet an union in partition; two lovely berries molded on one stem.
William Shakespeare, A Midsummer-Night’s Dream
10 Built-In Datatypes
I am the voice of today, the herald of tomorrow. … I am the leaden army that conquers the world – I am TYPE.
Frederic William Goudy, The Type Speaks
11 User-Defined Datatypes (Objects Option)
We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world.
James William Fulbright, Speech in the Senate (1964)
12 Using User-Defined Datatypes
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
René Descartes, Le Discours de la Méthode
13 Object Views
The choice of a point of view is the initial act of a culture.
José Ortega y Gasset, The Modern Theme
14 SQL and PL/SQL
High thoughts must have high language.
15 Transaction Management
The pigs did not actually work, but directed and supervised the others.
George Orwell. Animal Farm
16 Advanced Queuing
Many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
Matthew 19:30, The Bible
17 Procedures and Packages
We’re dealing here with science, but it is science which has not yet been fully codified by scientific minds. What we have are the memoirs of poets and occult adventurers…
Anne Rice, The Tale of the Body Thief
18 Database Triggers
You may fire when you are ready, Gridley.
George Dewey, At the battle of Manila Bay
19 Oracle Dependency Management
Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire
20 The Optimizer
I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.
21 Direct-Load INSERT
The translator of Homer should above all be penetrated by a sense of four qualities of his author: that he is eminently rapid; that he is eminently plain and direct … both in his syntax and in his words; that he is eminently plain and direct in the substance of his thought, …; and, finally, that he is eminently noble.
Matthew Arnold, On Translating Homer
22 Parallel Execution
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them.
Alfred North Whitehead: An Introduction to Mathematics
23 Data Concurrency and Consistency
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
24 Data Integrity
Does one’s integrity ever lie in what he is not able to do?
Flannery O’Connor, Wise Blood
25 Controlling Database Access
Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I’ve ever encountered!
Jon Pertwee (as the Doctor), Frontier in Space
26 Privileges and Roles
My right and my privilege to stand here before you has been won – won in my lifetime – by the blood and the sweat of the innocent.
Jesse Jackson, Speech at the Democratic National Convention, 1988
You can observe a lot by watching.
28 Database Recovery
These unhappy times call for the building of plans…
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
29 Distributed Processing
We must try to trust one another. Stay and cooperate.
30 Distributed Databases
Good sense is of all things in the world the most equally distributed, for everybody thinks he is so well supplied with it, that even the most difficult to please in all other matters never desire more of it than they already possess.
René Descartes, Le Discours de la Méthode
31 Database Replication
Lady, you are the cruel’st she alive, If you will lead these graces to the grave And leave the world no copy.
William Shakespeare, Twelfth-Night